There is something insidious happening here. Something frightening and unnerving. An invader, one whose clues are numerous, but subtle. Unique and small, while rampant and overwhelming. I’m talking of course, about the helpful friend, relative, neighbor, werewolf, vampire, monster, Jew, demon or jolly-stranger that’s been sneaking into my house and moving shit around while I’m away…possibly to teach me a lesson about locking my doors.

Not bugs. Did you think it was going about bugs? Because it isn’t. It’s about the aforementioned assailant.

This, like many of my entries, will have little, if nothing to do with it’s title. That having been said, SOMEONE HAS BEEN IN MY MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE MESSING WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT. That may well have been better articulated but I don’t care because that’s anger folks.

Everyday for the past week to week.5 I’ll come home at various points during any given day after having been gone doing whatever the hell it is I do, and things will be slightly awry. For instance, a door I’m sure I closed will be open. Tea bags I’m sure I had will be scarce and intangible. Laundry I’m sure I did will be soiled by the act of self-gratification and in the hamper. This low-life can’t just go around, sneaking into unlocked houses and teaching people valuable lessons by cumming on their clothes and drinking all their tea. I won’t have it. Things aren’t quite right at the Schiller house folks…I’ll keep you posted.

DID YOU KNOW? This story may or may not be completely fabricated!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 at 1:55 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.